


Fuck off, you don’t love me

by NoBody_NoCrime2020



Category: Eminem (Musician), Machine Gun Kelly (Musician), Music RPF
Genre: Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29398269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoBody_NoCrime2020/pseuds/NoBody_NoCrime2020
Summary: Em tells kells that he loves himThe blond has a hard time accepting this
Relationships: Colson Baker | Machine Gun Kelly/Eminem
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Fuck off, you don’t love me

Chaste, heavy footsteps from white Doc Martens reverberated through the carpet covered floor quickly followed by a softer, still heavy pace from Nikeshoes. The boots stopped in front of the window, away from the Sneakers, which is walking around, jittery and pissy.

“What the fuck were you fucking thinking?! I leave you alone for a few days and you get into some fucking fight like some goddamn idiot-“ the man continues to yell and berate the boy of what he already knows— ‘fucking idiot’, ‘stupid decisions’, ‘fucking addicted to this bullshit’ — he just tunes them out, white noise is what’s leaving Marshall’s mouth for all he gives a fuck about, he heard the same lecture countless times, this ain’t the first and sure ain’t the last.

But, there was a string of the right words next to each other pinched a reaction on his face—“I won’t be able to always fucking save you from these kinda shit, Baker-“ — and jerked anger from his bones,

“Then fucking **don’t** , it’s not that fucking hard to leave me alone!” Bleach blond hair twirling away from his face from the force of the spin Colson did as he quickly strode to the brunet, steps heavy.

Shocked, confused and mad, the Detroiter yells back, “uh- you fuckin’ wantme to let you get beat to a-a motherfuckin’ pulp?! Is that what you want, Colson!-“

“Bitch you fucking— yeah! Y’know what?! Yeah! It is what I fucking want! I don’t want you anyfuckingwhere near me!” The Cleveland boy is swiftly and stiffly gesturing, jerking his head left and right, occasionally, briefly looking away in annoyance.

Marshall is left speechless for a fraction of a second, hesitant anger in his eyes and confusion etched into his brows, mouth into a light scowl, after that fraction in time, he screams, “Oh! So you want me to leave you for fucking dead?!”

“Yes! Leave me the fuck alone! If I die then I fucking die, bitch, that’s none of your mother. Fucking. Problem!” He shouted, fingers having the nerve and bravery to jab into the man, other hand balled into a fist ready to hit.

With a crisp slap away of the pointed hand and a harsh grab at the pathetic attempt, even for Colson, of punching him, “Fuck no! What the fuck, Colson!? I’m not gonna fuckin’ let you get away with these kinda shit!”

Tugging his wrists with minimal effort, his stance defensive, ready to run, to attack, to leave, “why not?! Tell me! Fucking tell me! Explain to me! Explain Marshall! Why? Why why why!? Why!-“ _why are being fucking nice to me? Why are you doing this?! I don’t understand you! Why? What do you see in me?! Why do keep saving me from myself? It wasn’t supposed to go this way_

“-Because I care about you, goddamnit! I don’t wanna see you get fucking hurt and brushing it off like it’s fine, when it’s not fucking fine, Colson!—“ he doesn’t mean that, he’s fucking playing you, he’s just saying that out of pity he grips the taller’s arms almost like he’s pleading, pleading him to “-believe me, Colson, I don’t fucking like it whenever your hurt.”

The blond stares down into the warm, blue eyes of his childhood hero, expression unreadable, he doesn’t even know what face he’s making, but he does know that his eyes have a sharp pain in it,

“don’t-... don’t fucking lie to me—“ “-I’m not—“ “-DON’T LIE TO ME!—“ he slams Marshall’s hands off of him and shoves him away in the same motion, “- don’t you fucking lie to me, Em! I know you fucking hate me! This entire thing was supposed to be just us hatefucking, me being your sexual fucking stress toy, I thought that was fucking enough! But apparently you wanna fuck with my head too!” The tears leaving his eyes burn their way down his pain, frustration flushed cheeks.

Marshall’s chest hurts seeing the blond boy like this, his heartbeat skipping in stress of the situation, that he caused this agony upon the darling blond, he reaches cautious hands towards Colson but the Cleveland grown boy just shouts, some words broken “ fuck, Marshall! Ple-ase, just-... fucking explain why you like tormenting me? Did I fu-ck up that bad?”

For a man known for his quick words, he let his actions do the work, and he hastily pulls the boy into a hug, whispering “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Colson, I’m so so so sorry, I didn’t mean to do this to you, I’m sorry, I love you-“ into his shoulder. He held on as the taller’s knees buckled and his fingers clawed on the back of his hoodie. Colson remained silent, though, the older man could feel the hiccupped inhales that tells he’s crying.

But after a while, the blond mouths, barely any sound made, but Marshall hears it, “... no... no you don’t ...” and the hands on his hoodie began pulling, pulling him away from the clearly broken hearted boy, but he doesn’t want to, if his apologies serve as prayers that will heal the gorgeous, angel haired, sapphire eyed man in front of him, he’ll say it a million times and more. He doesn’t want to be pulled away, so he doesn’t move. He somehow manages to hold onto Colson tighter yet gentler.

“No... Marshall please, you don’t love me...” he whimpers as he desperately, weakly, failingly pulls him away, “I do, I really fucking do, Colson, I love how you brighten the damn room up, how you never shut up, how there’s no dull moment with you, I love how alive you made me feel, I love how your hands feel in my hair, I love how excited you get over the little things, the ever present smile you have on your face whenever you’re with Casie, I love how predictably random you are, I love—“

“Fuck, Marshall, stop, you can’t do this to me, please...” Colson finally frees the man off himself, as soon as he’s gone from Marshall’s grasp, he stands up with a shaky exhale, eyes still stinging, lips quivering,

“Wh- what? Col I-“ the brunet stands up, hurt and confusion on his face,

“You cant keep doing this to me, Em, i don’t know why you’re so... sweet? All of a sudden, but if this is some fucking tactic to let me break... it’s not gonna fucking work, old man... Call me whenever you wanna **fuck** , a’ight? And not whatever emotional rollercoaster you want me to ride...” the broken hearted blond says like he has his heart and lungs in his throat and all warmth was stripped away from him with how worrying the way his shoulders shook.

He scans his former idol? That doesn’t seems like the right word, he still idolises the man, he still looked up at him, and his words and opinions of him still agonisingly matter, still, he scans his face, he sees upward turned eyebrows, the emotion he can’t name in his infinite blue eyes, and Colson shakes his head, looking at the man for the last time that day, winces as he swallows his unwanted emotions.

Marshall does nothing as he leaves. He kind of wanted him to chase after him but he didn’t, of course he didn’t, and that solidifies the idea that Em really was lying about loving him.

He stands there almost hollowly, the stabbing agony of tears in his eyes worsen, the knife-like pain of his insecurity feels like it’s slicing down his face. The indistinguishable place in his ribcage radiated an ache throughout his body, his knees buckling beneath him, his shaky hands come roughly to his ears as he shuts his eyes tight as his thoughts torment him with questions and accusations like,

_‘you really aren’t built for love huh? I mean, you already outright told him that you love him, hah! and your words had no match for how pathetically you show ‘’love’’ you don’t deserve someone as gorgeous and fantastically thoughtful as Colson. You are fucking pathetic, you should’ve taken the hint after Kim or Mariah, hah! The bitch thought you were so repulsive that she lied to millions of people just so she doesn’t have to be associated with you!_

A sob burst though his throat as his thoughts harassed him and _believed every word_.


End file.
